A Bum’s Angst
I’ve
been posting some happy thoughts for the past days but deep inside I
wasn’t happy. I dunno. This might be depression. Blogging was my medium
of escaping this situation but it seems I can’t bear it anymore.
*The
NLE results are due August 15. I’m tired of waiting. And everyday I get
more anxious. I just can’t say that I will pass. It’s bad not passing.
It’s worse expecting and then get frustrated.
*I applied to
teach in a Korean school last week and they had just given me false
hope. I waited for days for their call so I could have a demo or
something but I was just waiting for nothing. My friend Keryll is
already working in other Korean school…to think…teaching Koreans
was my first idea.
*I’M BORED TO DEATH. I have good life here in
Bacolod but I get bored as time passes by. It gives me headache being
non-productive. Always inputs but no outputs. I sleep every 3 am after
hours of internet, wake up 2 pm the next day wondering what to do next
in my damn life. I would go malling at Esem, read books (some I haven’t
finished eons ago), or finish writing my novel. I’m doing my third
acoustic album but no inspiration. Sighs. I’m tired. Oh God, please
give me something new…
*Seems like I’m being forced to my last
resort: call centers. Teletech and Teleperf are far from my house. I
think I’ll go to Focus. But their hiring was over. They’ll hire again
on August. That’s what Bea told me. Argh!
*I’m also planning to
go to Candoni for a while, three-day vacation perhaps. I might find
life there. I’m really bored. My Tita Nonet was inviting me to conduct
a seminar there on campus journalism. I think I’ll love that.
*No love life still. But I enjoy communicating with people I loved from the past.
That’s it. I think I poured out everything. I’m not mad at the world. I just need to break free.
