Bompertz Schizotopia

All these years, I longed to have a best friend. Sounds corny huh? I did have these so-called special persons but it turned out that they disappeared one by one in a variety of reasons. I don’t know if the problem is with me. I’m beginning to think that I’m just a failure with it.

There was an article once in a magazine that explained the distinction between a friend and a best friend. As for me, I thought that there was no significant difference. The word ‘best’ is just added to the latter and that’s it. I was surprised however seeing a multitude of differences enumerated by the writer. A friend says, “Your dress is great” whereas a best friend says, “Is that a Halloween costume?” A friend on a visit to your house waits for something to eat whereas a best friend goes straight to the fridge and grabs anything. A friend greets you on the exact date of your birthday whereas a best friend does it a month before, reminding you everyday as if doing a countdown. So and so.

I particularly believe that ‘best friend’ can never be pluralized. When you say ‘best’, it means one out of the many. I get irritated when someone says he got a lot of best friends. It makes me think that he’s not sincere every time he says to one of his best friends, “You’re the best pal I ever had.” Agree? This belief is one of my three criteria for a best friend. The other two are: a long time being with each other and a high-grade listening capacity. These are probably the reasons why I kept on losing my best friends (I meant one at a time). I know that my criteria are mean and a bit selfish but that’s what friendship means to me.

Ladies and gentlemen, a chronology of my lost best friends…

Marnel. I met him when I was five years old and he was bullying his sister. I got a sister too and similarities led the way. We did what young boys of our age do. We climbed trees, trekked murky streams, fought naughty kids, and played games together. His family was Adventist and that’s the reasons why I sometimes despise eating pork. When we were twelve, his family left for Palawan. I cried.

AJ. He was wearing a blue T-shirt during our first day in high school so we called him Blue Blink. I preferred calling him Blink only. Being a neophyte at NOSHS was hard and it was good having a friend to share your lachrymose anecdotes. I treated AJ my best friend but that ended when he told me, “Your just my friend Von, Kitkat is my best friend.” It hurt.

Kristine. We were best friends because of one thing: books. She was my first best pal of the opposite sex and I knew a lot of ‘girly’ things because of her. She loved table tennis and always grabbed my hand to play with her. I never played, I was not into sports. As what I said, life at NOSHS was horrible. After our second year, Kristine gave up and transferred in another school.

Esther. She was the one who comforted me when Kristine left so we became best friends. She loved watching Japanese cartoons - the reason why our friendship ended. I was in a bad mood one day and she teased of being in love with some character in one of her favorite cartoons. I was too irritated that the next day, she became invisible in my sight. I wrote an elegy for her and a tragic story of which she was the character. I never talked to her for three years.

Jamaica.  She was a typical best friend who says negative things about you but is always there to help. We were classmates since we were freshmen but we got closer only when we were seniors. We were seatmates in the so-called Table Happiness and had lots of fun together. She provided me papers, pens, food, and ‘answers’. We got different schools for college though and that’s the end of that.

Jenna. It is not her real name but I prefer addressing her that. She was a childhood friend whom I met again for college. We got the same boarding house and since we were from the same town, we were together. We did window shopping, read novels, eat tempura, gaze at the stars, talk about life, etc. One day, that stupid cupid hit me and I was confused. I sacrificed my friendship with her before I get terribly hurt.

Six special persons. Six great losses. It’s not FAIR! All I want is a best friend but they kept on losing my grasp. Am I doomed to be alone?